The Balanced Life

Rebecca Tucker, LCSW

Holidays and Balance

This morning I sat reflecting on the past and on the little card I printed and laminated many years ago. It has been in a prominent place in my home ever since. It says, “As a woman thinks in her heart so is she.” Proverbs 23:7. Under this verse in large print is the word “Balance!” That began my journey towards balance and I realized even then that it began in my thoughts.

As we close out this year and begin afresh ask yourself, how do my thoughts promote balance in my life? Or do they promote a lack of balance? What do you believe about how much you get to decide in your life, thoughts, etc.? Does life just happen to you? Or are you choosing deliberately how to live your life?

The holidays can be a wonderful time. They can also be a painful time. For many they bring additional stress or memories that hurt. Are you making decisions at this time that add to balance of body, mind and soul—or that detract from any of these? One way to determine this is to ask ones self—am I living out my personal convictions during this holiday season? We cannot be balanced and serene and at the same time incongruent with ourselves.

For example is there someone it is particularly difficult for you to spend time with over the holidays—maybe because they do not respect your boundaries? How can you limit your time with them—graciously, but firmly.

Have you overscheduled yourself? What can you release? I have learned over time that I am not wonder woman and trying to be so does nothing to enhance balance in my life.

Is there music that reminds of significant loss? How do you respond when you hear it? Is it possible to choose to respond differently? For example, I still miss my parents at the holidays, and was delighted when I found a CD duplicate of an old childhood record. When I listen, instead of lamenting the loss, I recall Christmas’ past with fondness, accepting the emotions that come with the memories in appreciation.

If your loss is particularly recent, how can you be gentle with yourself this Christmas? Guarding our hearts can be particularly important after loss. Proverbs 4:23.

Intentionality in thinking and planning this Christmas can help bring balance to life even during the holidays.

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